Sooo I totally forgot to “blog” for a few days but meh…
01.07.09 ish
So I don’t like writing my thoughts down because I have so much to say, most of which doesn’t make much since. and it doesn’t help that it has been a few days since I last wrote. I will try and recap a few things though…
1. I love going to church and I love to learn
2. working at a place where legal drug deals happen and there is nothing you can do about it, makes me nervous
3. I hate getting lectured about my love life, especially when my defense appears to be trampled. they don’t know what is going on nor is the situation similar in anyway to theirs, or their kids. had I listened to them the last time, I would have been miserable.
4. Definately discovered that I am not as skilled as I thought I was….work sucked and I wish I were just awesome. but that takes time to become and I am just impatient…or however you spell it.
5. I am glad I can forget. most of the time it really comes in handy, I’m grateful to the lady who mentioned that when she wrote in her journal she tried not to write about the arguments and minor negative details of situations that were unpleasant. I have done some dumb things in life, I have been through some crazy things, and I’m pretty sure that if I told the right doctors about a few moments in my past they would claim that my current way of handling situations is flawed and that I should get help and or take medication. however!! once when asked about my past I chose not to disclose any information because I have reached a point in my life where I feel that I am the way I am not because of what I have done or been through but because of the choices that I am currently making. and therefore the stories I could have shared would have only confused and been concerning if not upsetting to the inquirer. none of that matters anymore, it happened yes, but it does not control my anything. it is almost as if it happened to a whole different person.
6. I have realized that when I leave the “nest” I have to potential to become more than what was. I can enlarge my family, change traditions, habits, and lifestyles. I can take the good, and try to leave the bad, I can improve upon what I was given.
7. I have been told I am an “old soul” I think that is kinda cool not gonna lie. I never really thought it was very true though. many would say i am quite immature. however I have realized that in many ways I do try to act older than my age, I always have. I want to run before I can crawl, I want to be the best before I have even tried. it gives me a unique perspective on life, but I feel now that i missed out on a lot because I was too busy trying to do more than I was able and not enjoying what simple joys I already had. I am now learning to just love what I have no matter how big or small, and to make the most of it. I also hear some one say that ” we don’t have to right to slack off, or think that because we have been doing so well, we don’t have to work as hard, or that someone else can do it for a change. if God is our example and he never says ” oh I think I will just relax today, I deserve it, or meh I have helped them enough let them figure it out.” then I shouldn’t either.
9. as weird as it is, I need someone to talk to. really anyone will do, but the key is they have to listen. there are just some times in my life that the only way I can really unwind is by blabbering on a tangent about who knows what. I would like to think that profound things come out in those moments however that is very unlikely lol but as I rant I find I talk myself through my problem to a solution, I feel better and I usually laugh or maybe but rarely cry.
10. last but not least. I love to love, it brings me joy, always.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Love of God,” Ensign, Nov 2009, 21–24
Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.
When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden.
Why Should We Love God?
God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.
No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!
For what we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.
